There's an area of character development in the experience of finding oneself. It is pride. And pride is feeling good and proud of one's qualities including skills, talents, family genealogy and its roots.

This pride is safeguarded at all levels to protect the family name. And by protection, one has to be skillful at defensive measures whether its verbal, physical or other.

I could be wrong but on the other side of pride is violence. In defense of the family name, the brothers are destined to become vicious fighters as they build a reputation that no one messes with the family. The head of the family is proud of his sons on hearing they beat up some other persons down the road. It's worship and glorify as fighters are rewarded for their effort.

To be honest, the family becomes fearful more than being an inspiration. Somehow, they dictate the line of jokes or cheap and body shots but people have learned to be smart and accept humiliation to avoid a beating.

Becoming the alpha male is the common target of the underdogs to climb the ladder of the hierarchy. So to become top dog is to become master of violence and propaganda of fear to ensure the reputation precedes a danger warning.

What happens if you don't want to fight or don't know how to fight and choose not to?

I think this is a defining factor of character. One risks being shamed for not defending oneself and the family, he risks wearing a life time label of being called a coward. This is usually highlighted in Western movies and in recent crises where individuals are punished for bringing shame to the family.

The truth is, subjects who are humiliated are suffering bad enough they would punish themselves severely.

This is the crossroads; an opportunity provides itself a way out, but the individual has to make the choice.

On the one path, pride is only seen from the physical perspective. Those are the objects and actions of character that are seen. I think it is the mentality of the time that they couldn't see beyond the material of the self. And by subjective material is desires of winning a fight or argument and being popular because of winning. Of course, people give praise and accolades in building the character of the self.

That leads us away from objective development to subjective entity of the self. The point is, there is probably no one around who knows better.

While it takes muscles or physical endurance to fight and take a beating, it takes courage and knowledge to not to. This is because the decision not to risks association with the label coward and bringing shame not only to the family but also to oneself.

The other path of the crossroads leads to thinking. Knowing the uniformity of the generation in time, one has to set an example for everyone to see and hopefully click that violence and fear is not the answer.

Courage to endure mental torture is not for the faint hearted when you know the mentality of the time and generation is old school uniform. But it's bravo that someone has to make a decision and start something new. One day they will come to understand.

While one risks social labels and shame, the thinking capacity is developed by such social reflections. The people provide the opportunity for you to learn and develop your thinking ability. It's like shining against the dark so when the people see clear in the light, they know and understand a better way forward that is not fearful or hurting.

If you think about it, it's nothing to be shamed about. In fact, it is better than pride.

For a family that is feared for its violent reputation is at risk of payback and retaliation. They may require a lot of effort for protection and maintaining the standards. But for a humble family that goes quietly about its ways may live peacefully.

However, who am I kidding, in our modern mentality of the neighbourhood, one doesn't have to do a thing to get clunked. He/she couldn't go the local shop without being robbed not only by street dwellers but also by shop keepers. And most times, the police simply can't do a thing about it.

That is why one has to think away from dependency on addiction to desires. Pride is a desire when one feels good and excited about its physical rewards and accolades. But it is understanding of the feelings of others in the family that is inspirational and not uniformly macho.

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