I have first learned about de-escalation as a security officer, that it's not worth arguing with someone who is under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

Having said that, the same can be said of bullies, or someone who is influenced by a political agenda, or activism among reactionists. This is where you have to think on your feet, use your experience and skills.

The number one rule of the trade is for your safety first. That's having a plan and be familiar with the scenery of the incident. Then call for backup and support.

That's well said but often under pressure, all the above are not forgotten but somewhat overwhelmed or obscured when instincts take over.

I have said that of addiction; when feelings and senses perceive the object of desire, instincts take over rational thought. And the major desire in question is anger!

When someone provokes you with whatever issue they target you with, that's it. Instincts take over and before you know it, you'd probably commit a crime and in so doing lose your job in the spur of the moment.

Some people may know you have a weakness with anger, so they set out to provoke your anger to prove a point. And when you become angry, they laugh at you like kicking someone in the face when he/she is down. But if you happen to lose your temper and damage something, it is taken as evidence of a crime. And you lose bigtime! And worse, your anger is used as a means to control you.

Anger is an emotion heightened by instincts. So the first rule of the trade is to know thyself; to know one's strength and limitations. That would save your life. And key to knowing yourself is understanding and knowing what makes you tick.

Having understanding of feelings and emotions, one might learn to fight back under pressure. I suppose this is when dirt hits the fan, it's not nice to be under all sorts of things flying around.

So from what I get in order to save face is something like brave or bullet proof in front of mates or onlookers. That is; escalation of conflict is knowing what to say at a given situation in time, usually one better - meaning nastier than the antagonist's response. And escalation builds upward as the next comment is nastier than the last. It is inevitable that it will explode sooner or later at the top.

Some people are known to have a collection of data in a library of nasties to say in the case of an escalation. This is like building weapons of war.

For some and in certain jobs, it's a skill and a lifestyle. And he/she who has the gift of the trade always says the right things at the right time. I wonder how they truly are inside!

So, under the circumstances of being targeted by bullies or what have you, the best thing to do is to not say anything at all and walk away. You know they will say one better so by saying whatever would only escalate the situation.

This however builds up the pressure knowing your silence is interpreted as anything the same time verbal provocations pile up.

Your silence and walking away gives you fresh air and time to normalise yourself. It helps soften and heal the impact of the escalation. Now, in time the issue is passed. It may resurface somewhere but it won't have the same impact. It is time to let go.

So the process follows:

  1. Know thyself.
  2. Weapons of War.
  3. Non-violence.
  4. Letting Go.

The achievement of de-escalation is humility, and humility is victorious in the one that conquered him/herself than the one who won the war. That is said; the one who has better controlled of his/her demons than the one with pride in desires.

The point of being right and looking good in front of mates and onlookers is to feed the ego. But the ego or self has led many to war and destruction of innocent lives.

However, the weapons of our social war are created and generated by adversaries to uphold the social structure. For one party attempts to establish developments for the benefit of all, another party provoke issues to disestablish such social developments thus we remain static.

Women might mound a demonisation campaign to stigmatise men therefore they become unsuccessful, thus women get a chance to succeed.

There you go, as far as you are engaged in social wars, you are captured and stagnated. But if you are humble, learn to know and understand yourself, you can conquer your demons and be victorious.

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